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Posted by / 12-Jul-2017 16:09

My inner poet, perhaps naïve, feels that more appropriate advice would be this rhyme rather than that one: Treat them mean And they’ll be ice. Certainly this elastic band advice is strange, and raises questions: is this advisory still around? Is this the well-known fear of intimacy, commitment and being tied down? The ultimate goal in a relationship, sans the power struggle and the elastic band pulling and pushing, is surely to maintain, strengthen and enhance this relationship. It seems to make sense, but I'm not a guy so I don't have the need for space John Gray references.

In any event, this advice to women is surely counter-intuitive. This would be a partnership centered and grounded in seeking to understand our partner and allowing our partner to know us, being accepting, respectful, and empathetic. I was so impressed by the questions the article wrote, I forgot to answer the question. I'll talk about rubber bands because that was in the title.

Or charming, fun, dazzling, wild, solvent and obvious in their desire to bed you, but not to wed you? Love is the bedrock of relationships, presumably – and don’t you love the rocking bed image? So, do you think that there is any truth in the theory that relationships are all, or mostly, like elastic bands? At varying points in my marriage (and particularly now while separated and trying to navigate back together) its been a roller coaster of emotion where we're just along for the ride, a rubber band when one of use pulls back, walking on eggshells not know what the right answer is, a fog of misunderstanding or euphoria, and unfortunately also a battlefield of emotions/control.

In genuine intimate relationships, the partnership genre, differences are appreciated and cherished with partners who are flexible, collaborative, accepting, honest (sans the games playing and the control), compassionate, supportive, fair, equal, reliable, loving. Easier said than done (as Gottman points out based on his research).

If that were all they did, your course of action would be clear: move on, and move into a monastery.

It seems to describe unhealthy, immature, dysfunctional relationships fraught with negative energies and power struggles. (deposits and withdrawals should be roughly equal over time). Kindly select your simile, smile or cry, examples will help, and please, do tell. it takes all many marriage/relationships "theories" and shows another perspective, that is both complementary and dissenting.I'm not attracted to a man who buggers off at unpredictable moments.What if I or our future family need him at that time? My mother has told me more than once there isn't anything a man appreciates more than a woman who is nice to him. Some pulling and pushing as wills and desires conflict is normal, and usually ends in a compromise, and negotiating intimacy can be tricky, but to be deliberately mean is, well, mean. So they can all exist together, particularly if you can ground yourself by choosing to truley understand for your partner.

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Partners recognize that they have different temperaments, strengths, vulnerabilities, and emotional histories, which can create issues, but still. He says that you still should try to connect (on simple topics) and not to take offense if we're shut down.